manywinged:

*bleeding out from my horrific injuries as you carry me in your arms* make sure you lift with your knees and not your back

action-exclamation:

machine-saint:

whispering “fentanyl” under my breath as the cops arrest me, causing them to fly back like a skyrim shout

mzcain27:

I think game studios should just release their character creators online. For the times when I don’t wanna play the whole game, just the lil dress up part

no-this-is-ryan:

My favourite Da Vinky twins trans ally moments:

• When they said their pronouns are they/them because there’s 2 of them
• “It doesn’t matter what your pronouns are, because at the end of the day, it’s night”

mintyproof:

nice argument, however i have monkeys at typewriters typing your ip out dumbass. as soon as one of them gets it right youre fucking dead

cute-animals-only:

more scratches please

(Source: twitter.com)

gothiclit:

majoring in fuck all with a minor in whimsy

the-lumpfish-king:

kobolde:

fred a freak according to hanky code

hannahp0calypse:

thinking about weird cultural shit around sexuality/swear words/etc etc and how wild it is that i have to teach my phone’s autocorrect to let me say “fuck”. thats a thing i have to do. my phone will go “Nuh-uh, you naughty so-and-so, you can’t say that!” until i tell it enough times that Yes, Actually, I Don’t Mean Ducking and how fucking wild that is. earlier today i had to convince my phone that “hickies” was a word. hickies is too explicit for my phone to include in its default dictionary. but yknow what? it always capitalizes YouTube correctly.

niuniente:

ALT

Guzma by Comanie_

failure-to-adult:

girl—-thing:

speedlimit15:

popses:

you used to call me on my hands-free talking glove

I’m just wondering how they can possibly market this as hands-free

This is legitimately the funniest shit.

transfantasma:

transfantasma:

amateur-artist:

maladaptations:

mossymagicks:

ieee-official:

Once you get to a certain level of advanced maths, you basically become a wizard.

this is what a page of my wizards spellbook looks like

Sounds like something a wizard mocking another wizard for their poorly written spellbook would say

tsunamiwavesurfing:

lookalivezay:

tsunamiwavesurfing:

lost two years of your life cause of covid - then got hit with inflation right after. we’re down tremendously

And still gon thrive cus it’s what we do.

brother this ain’t a kumbaya words of affirmation chain. the price of groceries is very real out here